Day 1.


I feel so dead and gone~
No words can describe my feelings now.

Finally i get to see a clearer picture now... awesome!!

neeway, went to ph for 2 weeks. The first week was good... after that the following was okay.
Saw the ugly side of some people. Afterall ph is still good and fun cant get enough of it.

When you tell me that you love me i was touched.
At the same time i question myself...

TGIF, i wanna drinkkkkkk tonight~ cant get enough of alcohol!!

I miss you.
Happy V. day~

“If someone wants to be in your life, they’d make an effort to be in it. So don’t bother to reserve a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay”

Smile and Chill~

though,

Deep down your heart is aching~

Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. Nobody is forced to stay; we all have choices. But the real test is if someone would rather stay with you, even though walking away would be so much easier.

I am very unhappy with my current job.
I am so stressful everyday.
Heavy workload, lots of shit to clear.
3 weeks alr.. i had enough of it.
People think that i shouldnt rant and face the stress.
But i just dont like my job.
Got no motivation at all...
Everynight i force myself to sleep, to wake up in the morning.
Drag my feet to work.
sucks! Maybe one of the reason is that i am still not used to waking up early.

But...

I cannot let my friend(my manager) down.
People out there have high expectation on me.

yesterday, ** ask me " so are you still working ? "
I replied " yes, still hanging on why ? "
"All your friends have quit their job, hopping here and there. So i thought you would be the same "
I replied " oh, i feel like quitting too but i cant only. "

Other incident, i can still remember on my 2nd day of work. I bum into xxx

He said " Be thankful that your friend introduce a job to you, do a good job and dont let people look down on you. There is a very good example around me and dont be like her. "

The reason why i am enduring till now is because i dont want people to think that i am useless.
My friend(manager) have faith in me, people think highly of me.
They think that i am different from my surrounding peers.
He doesnt want me to be an irresponsible person.

I dont like people to look down on me.
I do not want to disappoint anyone.
I do not want to be the next one that everyone says that i am immature and etc..
It wont bring me good only.

Well, i just have to face it.
Nobody likes to work neither our parents do.
I just have to admit the fact that i am lazy and spoilt.
I cannot take it that why must i have to wake up so early in the morning to work.
Everyday seems meaningless.
But on a second thought, i thought about my parents.
Now that i've to wake up early in the morning. I get to see them and talk to them.
And i ask myself, why my parents could wake up early every morning without complaining how tired they are..
Because of the family they have to. My heart aches when i thought of that.
It make me felt so useless.

Thinking back, for the past few months i have been sleeping like nobody business.
Leading a retire life..
Now, i felt like i am wasting my life away.

Previously, i restrict myself from posting my thoughts.
Now i felt that ITS MY BLOG.
Why cant i type and express everything that i want to ?
Why must i think of others before myself ?
seems selfish but mind you this is my blog!
If anyone is unhappy or something come straight to me.
Any question and doubts come straight to me.
Stop asking behind my back and assume things.
I am sick of all this shit already.

我不想刻意不去想；我不想刻意忘记你。
Time will heal everything ; Time will prove your love to me.